Breakfast Brawl
by Rosie2009
Summary: Mal, Evie, Jay, and Carlos make a birthday breakfast for Ben. Needless to say, four VKs mixed with a domestic task inevitably leads to disaster. Bal and lots of familial fluff with the Core Four.


"Okay, guys, we've got until, let's see… Ten o'clock sharp to get all of this together," Mal informed the two boys and the girl in front of her. "Think we can handle it?" the purple-haired girl questioned.

The three before her each shared a glance with one another and they all nodded their head in agreement.

"Alright. This is going to perhaps be the most challenging thing that any of us have ever attempted to tackle," Mal walked slowly along in front of them, examining each of their forms.

"We'll face trials, tribulations, and ultimately an enormous mess," Mal paused in front of Evie, facing the wall farthest from her.

"Evie probably won't survive," Mal informed, coolly gazing at the cream-colored walls. Evie immediately paled upon hearing that and her eyes widened as a bewildered grimace made its way onto her face.

"So without further ado," Mal turned to face her troops, eyeing them for the last time before they would be mangled beyond recognition, "let's make breakfast."

"You realize you just wasted this whole brilliant speech on making a birthday breakfast for Ben, right?" Jay asked, an eyebrow raised as he bumped Evie's shoulder gently with his own, stirring her from her mess-induced stupor.

"Shush, shush. Don't ruin the moment," Mal told him. Evie, now shaken from her temporary zoning-out, rolled her eyes and took Mal's arm, pulling her along behind her.

"Let's go, Miss Intense. Carlos and Jay, you guys grab the pancake batter and cook up some pancakes. Mal and I will start trying to make scrambled eggs, sausage, and bacon," Evie told them, with a wide smile. Mal knew Evie had picked for the boys to deal with the messy stuff because Evie was scared of getting batter on her clothes.

Mal got out the frying pan as Evie started looking through the refrigerator.

Today was Ben's birthday, and Mal wanted to give him a perfect start to the day with breakfast in bed. As a result of this, she had woken all of her family at the unreasonable hour of six o'clock in the morning on a Saturday. She knew the boys were lazy, but they didn't have quite as many objections against getting up early as Evie did, so they were mostly easy to get up. She was surprised that Evie had went along with it so easily since she loved her beauty sleep so much, but Mal guessed it wasn't so impressive since Mal knew Evie would do anything to make Mal happy and to help her out.

"Okay, so we need some eggs," Evie murmured, halfway to herself, and disrupted Mal from her thoughts.

"Really? You sure we don't need eggplant instead?" Mal jokingly questioned.

"I'm pretty certain that eggs come from chickens," Evie laughed lightly, keeping her head buried in her task.

Mal nodded in agreement, not really considering that Evie wouldn't be able to see her, and she reached out to turn on the stove. However, as soon as her hand was on the dial, she realized she didn't know what temperature to turn it to.

"Hmm… Evie, what do you think I should turn this to?" Evie peered around the refrigerator door to look at Mal's current situation.

"I don't know. Just put it at really hot." Mal squinted a bit, looking at the temperature options. There were only numbers.

"There's no option for that. There's just a whole lot of degrees."

"Well, try five hundred. That's pretty hot," Evie instructed, and Mal could hear the shrug in her voice.

"It's worth a try, I guess. Neither of us are experts, but it sounds legit enough," Mal told her as she turned the dial.

"In chemistry, it's my magic number!" Evie chipperly told her as she hummed a happy little tune to herself. Mal raised an eyebrow at that, suddenly feeling a little bit concerned for the outcome of their endeavors in cooking.

"You are aware that we are cooking and not concocting?" Mal checked. Evie stopped her humming to laugh good-naturedly.

"I know, but really. How different could it be?"

"Hey, girls? When you get the powdery stuff in the box, what do you do then?" Carlos inquired suddenly.

Mal strode across the kitchen to look at what Jay and Carlos were doing. Carlos held the box out to her and Mal glanced at the cover before she took it out of his hand. She flipped it over to look at the back and she handed it back to them.

"There's directions on the back," Mal told them, raising an eyebrow as she spun on her heel and returned to the other side of the kitchen.

Honestly. She knew that they were all cooking-retarded, but this was really taking the cake.

Carlos shrugged his shoulders, looking at Jay with a sheepish grin. Jay groaned in complete exasperation.

"Y'know, I just told you to check the back, but you wouldn't listen."

Mal rolled her eyes at the ensuing argument. Once she had returned to her and Evie's workplace, she leaned against the counter. After several more moments, Evie shut the refrigerator door and proudly presented to Mal an egg carton, a package of bacon, and a roll of sausage in her gloved hands.

Mal took the things out of Evie's hands and started trying to open the package of bacon.

"E, you open the sausage,"

"But what about my leather gloves?" Evie asked, and Mal knew it was just an excuse to get out of touching anything slimy and gross. Evie was more of a directions-provider and ingredients-getter, but that was about to change if Mal had anything to say about it.

"Just take them off," Mal instructed, finally ripping open the package of bacon.

She could hear the sigh that was just pouring off of Evie, but nevertheless, the bluenette took off her gloves and put them on top of the fridge where they wouldn't get messy. Evie then hesitantly reached for the sausage roll and began trying to carefully unwrap it using only her fingertips.

Mal stopped for a moment and just watched Evie's painfully slow movements. She currently was biting her lip carefully as she barely touched the packaging. Her fingers kept slipping because she wouldn't hold on to it tight enough, and Mal couldn't help but huff a bit in something between amusement and irritation.

"The sausage doesn't bite, Evie." Evie jumped a bit at the sound of Mal's voice, but quickly straightened up and threw a casual smile on her face.

"Yeah, of course. I know that," Evie replied, and she began her prissy prying once again.

"It might work a little better for you if you actually grabbed it," Mal offhandedly mentioned, glancing over at Evie as she started trying to put the bacon in the pan.

She could feel the stink eye being thrown her way, but Mal just focused on what she was doing. After a few more moments, a shout was heard.

"YES! I opened it! Here," Evie held it out to Mal. The purple-haired girl craned her neck backward to avoid the meat that was currently being waved in her face.

"Good for you. Now take a knife and cut patties out of it." Evie paled a bit at that, but to her credit, she started looking through the drawers for the utensil.

Mal put several more bacon strips in the pan and she sighed in relief. At least something had gotten done so far. Mal leaned against the counter casually, assuming that the bacon would probably take care of itself.

She looked over at Evie, silently observing the bluenette's progress.

The poor girl was currently trying to saw through the sausage as carefully as she could. It was so painful to watch that Mal almost wanted to snatch the knife out of her hand and do it herself. But, she reminded herself, Evie needed to have to do it herself. It was the principle of the thing.

"Mal, how many patties do we need?" Evie asked, seemingly innocently but her hopeful glance betrayed her true intentions and desires. Mal rolled her eyes, but despite her aggravation at Evie's neat freak problems, she did take pity on her sister.

"Probably four would be a good estimate. Y'know. Just in case. Growing boys and all that stuff." She could hear the barely suppressed sigh from Evie, and she almost wanted to chuckle as she took the patties that Evie made already and put them in her pan with the bacon.

Mal cracked the eggs and separated the shells, trying to pour simply the insides of the egg in the pan. There were a few bits of eggshell that fell in, but she didn't really think that they would affect anything. Besides, she liked her eggs with a little bit of shell in them. It added to the calcium in one's meal.

"Man! You got this all over my shirt!" Carlos cried out, interrupting Mal's tedious work. Mal and Evie looked behind them in the direction of the two boys.

"You know where else it could go? In your face!" Jay smeared a glob of pancake batter down the middle of Carlos' features, laughing like a madman. Carlos shook his head, flinging bits of batter all over Jay, who hopped back in an attempt to avoid it.

"I'll show you!" Carlos scooped up a big hunk of pancake batter, throwing it at Jay. Jay jumped to avoid it but scooped it up off of the tile to hurl it back at the other boy.

Mal and Evie shared an exasperated glance, and Mal stepped forward to try to stop the madness.

"Look, guys! We need the batter for the pancakes! Not some silly competition you two are currently-" Mal immediately froze and stopped speaking when a glob of batter hit her shoulder, some of it splattering up onto her face.

Both of the boys quieted, their faces turning solemn. There was not a sound to be heard from Evie either.

Mal looked at the both of them, her nostrils flaring as she felt the thrill and anger of the challenge rising up in her.

"Alright, you two are in for it," Mal provided them with one warning before rushing over to the bowl of stickiness. Both of the boys hurried around the counters, avoiding Mal's furious throws.

Evie's eyes went wide as she reached for her gloves and dove for the floor to remove herself from the immediate line of fire. She crawled along quietly, hoping no one would notice as she subtly headed for the table nearby.

Carlos laughed, grabbing a bit of the batter that landed near him, and he threw it at Jay right before Mal hit him in the head with a clump.

Mal then aimed at the former thief, who quickly dashed over the table, hoisting himself over with his hand. Mal missed him by a sliver.

"Why don't we all sit and discuss our differences like civilized human beings?!" Evie questioned desperately as she dove for the table, scooting underneath it quickly and barely suppressing a screech as a bit of the gooeyness almost hit her.

"How about we fight 'til we drop?" Mal suggested as she threw some at Jay. Unfortunately for him, she actually managed to hit him this time, the stuff just dripping down his arm.

Carlos bent down behind the island, and he reached up, carefully snatching some of the batter. He peeked out from his cover, keeping an eye on Mal as she furiously tried to chunk bits of goop at Jay.

Carlos shut one eye, prepping his throw, and then he let it fly. He laughed upon the sight of Mal with a splatter of batter on the seat of her pants. However, that laugh quickly turned into a scream- ahem, a very manly expression of terror when she whipped around to face him.

He scurried away from his cover, Mal hot on his heels as she attempted to get close enough to slam the bowl on his head. After a moment of a hopeless chase, Mal threw it at him and it hit him squarely on top of the head, batter covering his hair and face.

But then it dawned upon Mal that she had just given away all of her ammunition. Carlos got a wicked grin on his face as he watched her eyes grow somewhat fearful.

Just as she started to flee, he threw handful after handful at her currently retreating form. Mal dove under the table, her nearest cover.

Evie squealed as Mal, in her haste to get out of firing range, sat on Evie's lap, getting batter all over Evie's tights. The bluenette pushed the green-eyed girl off of her in a desperate attempt to avoid getting messier than she had already gotten.

Jay then chose that moment to slide underneath the table as well, pressing his batter-covered shoulder against Evie's. Mal resisted a laugh at Evie's expense as Evie attempted to ward the both of them away from her.

"Would you two stop?! You're covering me in goop!" Evie half-whispered half-yelled. Mal grinned at her, but her smile drooped a bit as soon as she spotted Carlos' feet nearby the three of them. Evie followed her gaze and Mal was sure the bluenette was about to jump out of her tights in her haste to get behind Mal and Jay.

Just as Carlos was bending down, Mal shared a glance with Jay as she grabbed a chunk of batter that had landed nearby. Jay nodded in understanding, smirking as he took one of his own. Evie looked between the both of them, and she beamed for the first time since the entire fight started.

"Oh, pansies?" Carlos singsonged with a big smile, kneeling so he was eye level with the other three VKs. However, his one-thousand-watt grin lost several hundred watts at the sight of Jay and Mal cocked and primed for a throw.

"Fire!" Evie cried out, leaning up and pointing at Carlos. Mal and Jay let loose their throws with glee and Carlos stumbled back, falling on his behind as he tried to recover.

"Good job, you guys! I think you got him," Evie congratulated, smiling widely as she wrapped her arms around Jay's and Mal's necks. Mal turned her head to look at Evie and barely caught a glimpse of the evil grin before it was too late.

Evie smashed two hunks of batter on the sides of Mal's and Jay's faces at the same time.

"And I think I got you," Evie laughed, looking between the both of them. Mal eyed her with a horridly grumpy expression and Evie raised her hands up in a placating gesture.

"In my defense, you two did come under here and start rubbing every bit of the stickiness that was on you onto me instead." Mal shrugged her shoulders, silently agreeing with Evie. Jay nodded his head, too.

They sat there under the table together, waiting for Carlos to finish wiping his eyes clean of all the batter. However, as soon as he was trying to get it out of the corner of his left eye, he paused, sniffing. Carlos furrowed his brow, sniffing hard again.

"I think something's burning." Evie and Mal shared a glance in horror as the boys simply looked at them blankly.

"The bacon and the eggs!"

…

_Bzzt_, _bzzt_.

Ben groaned, barely cracking open one eye as he looked over at his phone. After a few moments, he begrudgingly reached over and grabbed it to see who had texted.

"_You awake? Got a surprise ;)_"

Ben raised an eyebrow, smiling as he texted his girlfriend back.

"_Yeah. Do you need me to meet you somewhere_?"

"_Actually, would you mind if we come in_?" Admittedly, Ben was a little shocked at the use of "we," but he took it gracefully, readily giving her permission to come in with whatever company she had.

"_No, I don't mind. Come on in_."

Suddenly, the door opened and the four VKs poured in. He sat up in his bed, grinning at the sight of his girlfriend and her family.

"Happy Birthday, Ben!" they all joyfully yelled. Evie shared a pleased glance with Mal and the boys had huge smiles on their faces.

"C'mon, guys, let's do the song," Mal instructed. They all stood in line and took a collective breath as they prepared to sing.

"Happy birthday to you!" Mal started.

"You live in a zoo," Jay added.

"You smell like a monkey!" Carlos laughed.

"And thankfully you don't look like one, too!" Evie finished strong, trying to sing through the enormous grin on her face.

Ben clapped vigorously for all of them, completely touched that they went to so much trouble just for his birthday.

"Bravo! Could I possibly get an encore?" Ben questioned, smiling at all of them.

"Not yet, because we've got another surprise for you."

Mal turned and left out the door, coming back in quickly with a metal tray. She brought it over to his bed and sat it gently on his lap, backing away so that she stood nearby the other three kids at the foot of his bed.

"We made breakfast," Mal explained.

Ben looked down at his tray, trying desperately not to let his disgust immediately show. The bacon and sausage were burnt to crisps and the eggs were practically brown. Not to mention the foreign stickiness on the plate that he guessed was probably a pancake.

He looked up at them all, really hoping it was a joke and he didn't have to eat it. But to his immense disappointment, all four of them were standing there with pitifully proud expressions on their faces, quite obviously pleased with what they had made.

"It… looks like a feast fit for a king," Ben told them, hoping he sounded more sincere than he actually felt. Evie visibly puffed up with the compliment and he could see Mal's bashful acceptance of his attempted compliment. The boys just shared a smile, crossing their arms over their chests.

He tentatively lifted a piece of bacon to his lips, straining desperately to convince himself to put it in his mouth. He blinked in mild surprise as it fell apart into tiny burnt pieces.

"Y'know, it looks so good that I almost can't eat it," Ben tried as a last resort to avoid eating it.

"Don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from," Mal reassured him. Ben smiled, and swallowed hard, looking down at his plate.

He carefully picked up the bacon once again and gently put it in his mouth, chewing it hard and swallowing quickly. Ben bit the inside of his cheek to avoid gagging and he kindly glanced up at the lot of them.

"It's delicious," he ground out. Mal grinned and came over to his bedside, kissing his cheek softly.

"Well, I guess we'll leave you to the rest of your breakfast. No need for us to sit and watch you like a bunch of vultures," the green-eyed girl joked as she moved away, heading for the door.

Ben laughed and nodded slowly as Mal left out the door followed by the boys and then Evie, who offered one last wave before shutting the door behind her gently.

As soon as he was sure they were out of earshot, he coughed, hopping to his feet and hurrying for the bathroom so he could wash the taste out of his mouth.

_Well… At least they tried_, Ben thought to himself as he vigorously made use of his mouthwash.

"Hey, Ben? We got another surprise for you!"

He immediately went pale as a ghost.


End file.
